My sister and I just returned from a visit to my parents helping them out after our mom had minor surgery. It gave the 4 of us a rare chance to spend time together as the OG “nuclear family.” It also gave me fodder for my writing journey - some funny, some emotional.
I appreciate this time with my parents in a new way now that I have been working hard to better understand this phase of life and how to embrace it rather than drive me crazy.
As I told my mom, after recording an upcoming podcast conversation with one of my experts, I am working on “asking permission” and “letting her lead” what she wants to declutter. She was surprised and appreciative when I told her I received this advice from a therapist and was trying to implement it. Trying, definitely being a key here. (More information on the expanded Who Gets The China? podcast coming soon. I can’t wait to share what’s next!)
Does someone in your family have a large box full of a lifetime of greeting cards waiting to be sorted out? I’m talking about decades of birthday cards, thank you notes, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, holiday cards, you name it. Well, if you’ve been reading or listening for a while, you may guess that we have such a box. Probably a few boxes, if I am being honest.
Our mom can not be dissuaded from activity, even post-surgery, so one afternoon she busted out the box and we started sorting through. Of course, it is a treasure trove of family history!
There were cards from my parents first Christmas together almost 60 years ago and many of their early anniversaries and birthdays. My mom kept remarking “what a romantic” my dad was and he gamely followed along. It’s true! The early cards are especially sweet. This is a side of your parents’ history that you have no sense of, because you were too young or weren’t even born yet.
There are early Happy Mother’s and Father’s Day cards signed in our cute 4 year-old-handwriting.
Mother’s and Father’s Day cards from the ‘70s There are get well cards from major health events reminding us how lucky we are to be sitting here with our parents doing this today.
There are cards and letters sharing our appreciation for all of our parents’ support of our various endeavors, like the solo trip I took back-packing around the world for 9 months. This was back in the day when there was no email, social media or cell phones you could use to call your mom and tell her you survived the monsoon rains during your trek through Nepal.
A card I sent to my mom 25+ years ago as I embarked on a solo worldwide adventure. There are cards from dear friends and well-wishers as they embarked on their journey to the west coast. Just seeing the signatures of some loved, long-time friends who have passed is enough to cause emotion to swell.
There was a sweet, beautiful poem my sister wrote about the house we grew up in as they prepared for the move west. I had completely forgotten about it - maybe we all had. We teased her at first, but as she read it aloud we all got choked up remembering our old street, our TV room, the snacks we loved, and the sound of tires on our gravel driveway revealing who got home when.
We may have found her next calling as a greeting card writer or poet.
There were condolence cards from family and friends reminding us of those loved ones we lost way too soon and those who lived very long lives despite all kinds of adversity.
I may have teased my mom mercilessly about saving all these cards all this time. But now I am so glad she did and that we had a chance to walk down our shared memory lane, together.
Now I am on the verge of crying again so it’s time to wrap this up. This is your encouragement to go dig out your box of letters or cards or whatever and take some time to re-live a little slice of history.
I’d love to hear if you have a box of letters or other meaningful mementos and if or how you shared it.
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